車庫大門
一個早上，老闆走進辦公室，並不知道褲子拉鍊沒拉上，他的褲襠是敞開的。
他的助理走過來跟他說：「今天早上離家時，你家車庫門關上了嗎？」
老闆回答她說：「我肯定車庫門已經關上了」，後走進辦公室為這個問題感到納悶。
當他完成了批閱工作，突然發現他的褲襠是敞開的，馬上將拉鍊拉上，他才瞭解助理說的車庫門問題。
他到外面倒了一杯咖啡，走到她辦公桌前問道：「當我的車庫門撇開的時候，你看到我的駿馬停在裡面嗎？」
她笑著說：「沒有，沒看到，我只看到一輛老爺車與兩個洩了氣的輪胎。」
Garage Door
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.
His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'
The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door.'
He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?'
She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires.'
助聽器 ( I )
一位長者，若干年來都有嚴重的聽力問題，他去看醫生，醫生為他安裝了一付助聽器，可以使他百分之百聽得清楚。
一個月後老先生來回診，醫生說：「你聽力非常棒了，再度恢復聽力，家人一定很高興吧！」
那位老先生回答說：
「噢！我考慮了三次，還是沒有告訴家人，我只是坐在那裡聽他們交談，我已修改我的遺囑三次了。」
Hearing aids
An elderly gentleman ...
Had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100% .
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.'
The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!'
助聽器 ( II )
一名男子告訴他的鄰居：「我花了4,000 美元，剛買了新的助聽器，它是目前最進步的高科技產品，真是棒極了。」
「真的！」鄰居問道：「“What kind is it ?” ( 是什麼樣子的？ )」 「12 點 30分！」
Hearing aid
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
‘ Twelve thirty.’
新生嬰兒
兩位退休老人坐在安養中心一棵大樹下的長凳上，其中一位對另一位說：
「斯利姆，我83歲了，現在我全身到處都會酸痛。我知道你的年齡和我相仿，你感覺怎麼？」
斯利姆說：「我覺得就像一個新生嬰兒一樣。」
「真的嗎？像一個剛出生的嬰兒？」
「是的！沒有頭髮，沒有牙齒，我想我剛剛尿濕了我的褲子。」
Newborn baby
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree, when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains.” I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really ? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
